you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
