Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
