fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I party with great urgency now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
