Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
