your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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