apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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