Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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