No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What a dumb baby whore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
