i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
