How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Someone shattered a urinal.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
