my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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