I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
