so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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