She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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