That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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