He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
