he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
