So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
