people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
