i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
