What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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