wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
