people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
