Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
