I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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