no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
