so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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