I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
