Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
