you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
