I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
