Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
