I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
