New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Alive.
So much puke
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
