Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
