stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
