whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
