she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
