Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
