see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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