I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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