glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
