Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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