He asked to "fluff my boner.."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
