That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
