How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
