I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
