and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
