saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
