I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
