Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
