i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
