Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
