I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
