I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
